WHAT PSYCHOTHERAPY CAN DO
The goal of therapy is to enable you to help yourself to a better quality of life: to identify and overcome any problems which have been preventing you from achieving this. Thoughts and behaviours can run in patterns, like old television programmes. Ideally, if you change the old programme for a new, fresher one, you then stop reinforcing the tired, worn out ones that have been pulling you down.A combination of psychotherapy and hypnotherapy is a powerful and effective method of discarding things you don't want in your life and identifying the things you want to achieve. That's why the simplest changes, once explained, can make a massive difference and turn your life around.
All the aspects of your life such as childhood, work life and personal life do not exist in isolation but are indelibly linked. What you learned as a child came from the people who were your earliest influences such as parents, teachers and priests as well as the kind of life you led. Equally, as an adult, what happens at home affects what happens at work and vice versa.
back to top
CONFIDENCE IS GOLD
Self-worth, self-esteem, being self-confident and sure of yourself - how many people believe they would have a different life if they only possessed this quality in abundance.
Equally, how many pretend they do have it, putting up a facade each morning before they face the rest of the world? Some even think that everyone else is more confident than they are, completely forgetting that if they can put on a facade, why wouldn't others?Some people have a lot of be confident about but have forgotten. Locked into a programme of thinking a certain way, seeing themselves in a certain light, they cannot recognise their own achievements.
Hypnosis can help people make that switch from low self-worth to a realistic pride in achievements. This is not the same as showing off or boasting. This is a calm confidence that is inescapable, a sense of liking yourself and knowing your ability.
There are people who realise they are not tapping into their true potential but cannot understand what holds them back. Hypnotherapy is an excellent technique for unlocking such a block. This process of release enables people to be positive and confident and whatever they do, they do it to the best of their abilities.
back to top
THE NEED TO BELONG
The need to belong to a group of people is one of the most fundamental human needs. Our society is organised into groups. From the day we start school, we are divided into classrooms, and from then on we join clubs, work for companies, organise associations, sit on committees, belong to political parties: political leaders - whether presidents or prime minister - gather a group of senior political advisors around them and call it a cabinet. The most established group is of course, the family group. When a person cannot find a group with which they can identify, they become the aberration, the loner. History is filled with such outcasts, people who lived on the edge of society, sometimes because their beliefs set them apart from their neighbours, or they were rejected because they were somehow different, whether in appearance or outlook.
Some took pride in their differences, perhaps set up their own group and became its leader, creating a new community which they found comfortable. These new leaders who refused unquestioning compliance with the status quo may have caused themselves all kinds of difficulties and even cost some their lives.
back to top
SELF BELIEF
Being different, or alone, can also mean being unsuitable, unacceptable and unlovable. We are motivated by the same forces that drove our ancestors to either rebel or comply. We do want to be liked and to stand out as different requires self-confidence.The person we present to the outside world is not necessarily the person we feel like inside at the very core of our being. We try and merge into one group or another, never really fitting any one of them very well. On the outside our facade sends out strong confident signals but inside we feel like jelly.
Being alone can mean being lonely: but it can also mean being complete in yourself, content with your own company. It can signify that your mind and body are synchronised, running along the same track. You may not slot neatly into a category or belong to a group of like-minded people. But you do belong to yourself.
back to top
why we think what we think: why we do what we do
The impact on your emotions stems from all your experiences of life and these emotions colour your thoughts. How you see yourself may not be as others see you. Since we all have such a unique life experience, we start our thinking from very different places, with different perceptions of the same situation. It fifteen people witness an incident, the police may well have as many as fourteen different versions of what happened. Once changes start to happen, you see yourself in a different light, which has a knock-on affect so others see you differently too.
None of these claims are exaggerations and are realistic, achievable goals. Life will always throw up problems and no one can predict what these will be and when they will happen. What you can learn is not to allow them to become distorted so they absorb you and take you over. Instead, you can find ways to deal with them, objectively, intelligently, and importantly, without losing perspective.
back to top
do you know a spoilt or pampered child? and yes - they are different
People who never learned to be self-reliant when they were children may well have had parents who deliberately created dependency.The love that parents extend to their children is unconditional and takes no account of faults or failings, because that kind of love surpasses such things. Nothing in later life compares to such generosity.
The arrival of an infant who depends on them for everything, is sometimes greeted with an enormous emotional hunger. The parent whose self-esteem is low and longs to be loved unconditionally, has a vested interest in keeping her child in an emotionally needy state.
The moment her child prefers school friends to family, is a precursor to another day this parent dreads, the time when the child becomes a young adult and decides to leave home. So instead of encouraging the child to grow into an independent being, equipped to face the world, this parent will encourage the child to become needy.
back to top
the spoiled baby
Spoiling a child can stunt their emotional growth. Every time they scream or cry, the parents rush to soothe them, giving them whatever they demand, desperate to placate this angry child.This angry child then grows into an angry adult, who bullies their way through the school playground and goes on to become a demanding husband or wife and bullying parent. The only way they have of measuring their own success is through the defeat of others. The only way they know how to win is through the process of intimidation.
back to top
the pampered baby
The pampered child also suffers from stunted emotions. Unlike the spoiled child, they have no need to even scream or cry because the dedicated parents rush to do everything for them before they even have a chance. Every need is met long before the child has time to even think about what they want or what will suit their needs best.This child grows up with no sense of discrimination and without courage. Life has never had to be tested, and therefore they have never had to learn through failure. But they have also been denied the triumph of a success.
They have no visions or dreams of their future because they have never had to stretch their imagination to think beyond the here and now. Everything they could need or want was provided when they were young, and it comes as a shock to discover that the adult world does not behave this way. These are adults with child-like minds, innocent and unaware of their own abilities.
Naturally life is difficult for such people and from time to time, usually when those difficulties overwhelm them, they revert to childhood behaviour seeking comfort and solace in the situations where once it was always provided.
back to top